15 Ways To Annoy Jacob Black
by Sirenescence
Summary: Based on the YouTube video, three friends embark on the greatest adventure, annoying the crap out of Jacob Black.
1. Boredness, YouTube, and Pedophiles

**Hi! Please go easy on me this is my first FanFic, I just uploaded this chapter and if anyone likes it, I will write more!**

**Here is the YouTube video this story is based off of **

**/watch?v=eDBPTySQd6E**

**Disclaimer: All the characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, execept for myself, my cousin, and Morgan. We own ourselves. The prank ideas belong to barbrafl.**

Ashley was visiting her cousin Alexis in Seattle for a week. They wanted to do something special during her visit from Texas.

"I'm bored" Ashley complained while flipping through channels on the TV.

"Do you want to watch The Notebook?" Alexis asked looking up from texting on her phone.

"Hale no, when I have PMS romance and I do not mix" Ashley explained.

"Well then what do you want to do then" She threw her phone on the couch and glared at Ashley.

"I don't know!" She whined falling back onto the couch with a huff and throwing her arm over her face. Alexis growled as she stood up and stalked to the computer and sat heavily in the chair. She turned on the computer and logged onto YouTube.

"Alexis!" Ashley's voice, muffled by her arm, groaned at her. "I'm bored!" Alexis ignored her as she looked through her Favorites until she came across a certain video.

"Hey Ash?" She called while clicking on the video, "Come here for a sec".

Ashley huffed as she pulled herself up and stomped over to the computer.

"What?" She asked while leaning forward on her arms on the desk.

"Check this video out it is so funny!" Alexis clicked play and put it to full screen.

"_100 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black_?" Ashley clarified. "Hmm" she tapped her finger to her chin deep in thought as she watched.

"I know what we can do!" Ashley exclaimed suddenly making Alexis jump, she turned and scowled at Ashley's pacing form.

"What do you mean?" She asked clearly irritated with her younger cousin. Ashley stopped pacing and turned towards her with an evil grin on her face. Alexis cringed knowing this was not going to be good.

"Alexis, call Morgan to pick us up, we are going to La Push"

**Three hours later in Morgan's Ferrari….**

"OK so let me get this straight, you two want to annoy the crap out of Jacob Black, a werewolf, who could, when antagonized, phase into a wolf and rip us to shreds?"

"Yep that's the plan!" Ashley confirmed with a squeal while bouncing in her seat. Morgan rolled her eyes while Alexis shivered nervously.

"Hey! I don't want to do this, it's this one's entire fault" Alexis clarified while pointing at Ashley. Ashley stuck her tongue out at her; Alexis turned around in her seat and glared.

"So how long do you think you guys can keep this up until Jacob gets pissed off?" Morgan asked sarcastically

"Hmm I don't know, but I'm going to be keeping count like number 91 suggests" Ashley said completely ignoring Morgan's sarcastic tone. Alexis gulped as she slid down in her seat, she looked over to Morgan.

"Please tell me you're doing this with us?" She pleaded, Morgan made a face,

"No! I like having all my ligaments intact thank you very much!" Morgan exclaimed incredulously as to why her best friend would agree to do this madness with her younger cousin. Alexis bulged her eyes and stuck out her lower lip.

"Pwease?" She asked again, Morgan grimaced as she tried to ignore her, but then Ashley joined in with her.

"Pretty, pretty, pwease?" She asked.

Morgan huffed "Fine, I'll help you two!" She exclaimed, Alexis sighed with relief while Ashley bounced in the backseat clapping her hands.

**Another three hours later in their hotel room in Forks, Washington.**

"So! Back to business" Ashley pulled out a clipboard and a pen flopping onto one of the beds in the room. "I wrote down 15 steps from the video, since I know we're too lazy to do 100."

"True dat, true dat" Alexis agreed while Morgan nodded her head with her lips pursed.

"All we have to do is follow the list." Ashley explained as Alexis and Morgan listened intently.

"We'll take turns, so" Ashley waved her finger around and pointed it at Alexis "You will start us off!" Ashley exclaimed, Alexis paled

"No No NO! I don't want anything to do with this! Why should I go first?" Alexis exclaimed terrified. Ashley rolled her eyes.

"No you ARE doing it!" She exclaimed getting up from the bed getting into her face.

"Am not!" Alexis challenged

"Are too!" Ashley shot back

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"NOT!"

"TOO!"

"AM NO-"

"FINE! I'll do it!" Morgan exclaimed as both girls whipped their heads around to Morgan.

"I'll do the first one, then it's Ashley's turn then it's your turn alright?" Morgan exclaimed throwing her hands in the air. Alexis and Ashley both nodded simultaneously with shocked expressions on their faces. Ashley who recovered first walked back over to the bed and picked up the clipboard.

"Okay then Morgan you will start us off!" Ashley smiled hugely as Morgan cringed; Alexis silently made her way to her suitcase and started unpacking her things.

"All you have to do is go down to La Push, find Jacob and start the first prank. And the first one is _1. Whenever he tries to talk, howl at the top of your lungs." _Alexis busted out laughing as she held one of her _Team Switzerland_ shirts to her chest, she collapsed on the bed. Morgan raised one of her eyebrows at her while Ashley rolled her eyes.

"So that's all I have to do?" Morgan asked

"Yep! But don't worry-"she hit Morgan in the arm with the clipboard. "-There is more to come!" she wiggled her eyebrows backing away slowly laughing like a manic, her arms open wide, as she stepped into the closet, closing the door slowly. Alexis and Morgan looked at each other.

"What…in the freakin' name of Hale?"

**Yet ANOTHER three hours later, La Push reservation, Black residence.**

Morgan pulled into the Black's driveway; she put her Ferrari in park and turned the car off. She leaned her head onto the wheel and took deep breaths, gripping the wheel until her knuckles turned white.

"OK Morgan get a grip, you can do this…" She slowly looked back up and took another deep breath.

Opening the car door she stepped out of the car. Her stiletto heels sunk into the dirt, as she walked in the light drizzle. She put her game face on as she approached the front door. She placed a hand on her chest and took a big gulping breath then knocked on the door. She heard movement inside and stiffened. Like in a horror movie the door-knob seemed to slowly turn and was tugged on revealing, Billy Black. He looked at her weird (since she was wearing booty-booty shorts, a too small, bite me t-shirt, and stilettos.) but then looked her up and down, a perverted smirk on his face. Pedophile.

"Can I help you" He drawled more focused on her breasts then her face. She cleared her throat rather loudly and he jumped. Morgan raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, is _Jacob _home?" She purposely ground out his name, Senior Pedo's face fell.

"He is-"He turned his head back and yelled into the small house "Jacob! Some prostitute is here to see you!"

Morgan placed her hands on her hips as Billy smirked, before wheeling his nasty self away. Morgan waited anxiously as Jacob appeared in the doorway in all his smexy-glory. Of course he was shirtless, wearing cut-offs and his shaggy hair messy, and he had some very yummy stubble. Morgan licked her lips as she stared at him; he wore a very confused and cautious look on his face. Then it quickly turned to disgust when drool dripped down her chin. She snapped out of her trance and wiped furiously at her chin. She fluffed her hair, and then reached into her purse pulling out a mirror and her lipstick, reapplying it, as Jacob watched very annoyed. She rubbed her lips together then smacked them making kissing noises. She turned back to Jacob with a seductive grin on her face.

"Why hello there Mr. Black" She drawled out attempting to be sexy. He raised an eyebrow and stared at her, then slowly started closing the door.

"Wait wait!" Morgan ripped the door wide open again, heaving furiously like a manic. Jacob looked alarmed.

"I…uh…you see…-" She struggled for an explanation to why she was here in the first place. "-Bella sent me!" His face perked up at the sound of the slut's name, God I hate her.

"Bella sent you here?" He asked a little _too_ excited "Did she send you to tell me that she chooses me over the gay, over-dramatic, brooding, leech?" He started jumping up in down in glee, clapping his hands in a gay like fashion. But he still managed to look sexy.

"Uh No" His face fell as he stopped bouncing and he did a very good impersonation of a kicked, puppy.

"I'm uh…Bella's cousin! Yeah…" Morgan scratched the back of her neck as she fabricated her lie. "Charlie asked your dad if I could crash here for a couple weeks with some friends of mine, girls gotta get out of the ghetto some time!" _Whoo almost blew my cover._ Jacob looked at her weird for a second then shrugged.

"Whatever…" he turned back into the house leaving the door open for Morgan to come in.

"Yes!" She hissed to herself as she walked into the Black household. Jacob was lounging across the couch, his hand buried in a bag of potato chips he was staring intently at the TV screen. _Show time…_ she practically skipped over to the couch, standing in front of the TV. He slowly looked up at her with an annoyed look on his face.

"Can I-"He started,

"AWHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Morgan howled at the top of her lungs, Jacob looked at her like she was an asylum escapee.

"What the-"

"AWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! !" She shrieked cutting him off again. His face dropped into a scowl as he sat up on the couch; yet again he tried to say something.

"Seriously you pysch-"

"AWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" She was cut off by Jacob springing off the couch, throwing the potato chip bag on the floor with pure rage on his face. His hands shook and he gritted his teeth glowering intensely at Morgan. Before he could do anything else, she bolted out the door. She ran all the way down the now muddy driveway, since it was pouring cats and dogs. Her stiletto heel sunk into the mud, making her going spiraling forwards wiping out on her face. She laid there for a moment trying to figure out what just happened. She slowly pushed herself off the ground; spitting mud from her mouth gagging. She pulled her stupid, stiletto out of the mud and bolted again to the car.

Once in the car she turned the ignition and peeled out of the driveway, she drove until she was off the reservation. She pulled to the side of the road and picked the stupid clipboard off the passenger seat and checked off her deed.

"This is going to be a long two weeks" she slammed her head against the headrest and groaned.


	2. Crazy Pills, Nickels, & Jedi Mind Tricks

**Thanks for the favs and alerts, and thank you, ****ThePowerOfRandomnes1, for my first review EVA! Could I shoot for some more reviews for this chapter. Come on you know you guys want to make me smile!**

**Sorry for this short chapter, one of my best friend's mother just died today from cancer. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.**

**Disclaimer: Do you really think if I owned Twilight I would be writing on FanFiction? Or name Bella and Edward's kid Renensmee?**

Morgan opened the door to their hotel room and walked inside, and was greeted by the sight of Ashley lying topless on the bed, reading a magazine.

"WHOA!" Morgan stopped dead in her tracks; Ashley whipped her head up to look at her. They both had an awkward, staring, contest until Ashley exclaimed.

"STOP LOOKING AT MY NICKELS!" Covering her boobs with a discarded shirt, Morgan slapped her hands over her eyes as she shivered at what she just saw. Ashley got up off the bed and pulled the inside-out shirt on and put her hands on her hips.

"You really need to learn how to knock." Morgan stuck her tongue out at her; Ashley returned the gesture with a raspberry. Morgan looked around the small hotel room as Ashley turned on the TV and flopped on the couch.

"Where's Alexis?" Morgan asked, there was no sign of her, Ashley lazily lifted her head, her eyes never leaving the TV screen.

"She went to Home Depot; I was too lazy to go buy prank supplies so I made her go." Ashley smirked while Morgan rolled her eyes and started taking off her shoes.

"The nearest Home Depot is like 45 minutes away, by car. How is she walking there?" Morgan asked perplexed now slipping on an old, oversized, Pirates of the Caribbean shirt. Ashley tore her eyes from the TV, finally looking at her with a toothy, grin on her face.

"Who said she's walking?" It took her a minute but Morgan got it.

"Let's hope she don't run into the po-po, 'Cause I don't feel like bailing her out of jail" Ashley pointed her finger at her, refocusing her attention on the TV. Morgan was just about to call Alexis on her cell, when the door slammed open. Ashley jumped off the couch and got into her supah ninja position, while Morgan whipped out her taser. Alexis dropped her Home Depot bags and held her hands up in surrender.

"It's only me!" She exclaimed, Morgan relaxed and put her taser back in her bra, Ashley ran over to the bags. She laughed evilly as she ran with them in her arms back to the couch and slammed down on it. She ripped through the bags until she found what she wanted.

"What's that for?" Morgan asked curiously, Alexis answered.

"It's for the next prank." She explained as she took her jacket and boots off.

"Not just any prank MY prank, MWHAHAHAHA!" Ashley exclaimed dramatically. They both looked at her weird as she held the hot, pink, spray paint close to her chest. Her eyes crossed as her chest heaved furiously.

"Anyway," Morgan ignored her "We need to start packing, we're staying at the Black's now." Morgan explained. Alexis' face paled as she backed away from Morgan.

"No, no I'll be in the same house as HIM, I will breathe the same air as him, I'll eat the same food as him, I'll crap in the same toilet that his gorgeous crap touched. AHHHHHHHH!" She exclaimed. Morgan stared; even Ashley looked at her weird.

"You didn't take your pills today did you?"

"No."

**Three hours later, La Push reservation, in Morgan's Ferrari.**

"OK what's the plan?" Alexis yelled from the backseat, Ashley was too busy head banging to Paramore to notice, while Morgan sang loudly, and off key, to the music. Many La Push citizens looked at the car weirdly as the Ferrari drove by. Alexis rolled her eyes and reached up front and turned the CD player off.

"Hey what was that for!"

"I was rocking it!" They both protested.

"Focus! Now what is our plan of action?" Alexis asked once again, Ashley looked confused while Morgan stroked her non-existent beard in thought.

"Where's the friggin' check list?" Ashley handed it to her then went back to stroking her spray paint,

"My precious, my love…" Morgan raised her eyebrow and continued driving.

"OK so it's Ashley's turn this time, _2. Spray paint his motorcycle hot pink._" Alexis read,

"YES!" Ashley whooped raising the roof with her spray can, Alexis rolled her eyes.

"Here is what you need to do, once we get there, we will innocently start taking our suitcases to the spare bedroom while you sneak unseen into the garage. I don't think Jake is there he may be doing super, secret, wolfy, thingys." Morgan explained while pulling into the Black's driveway.

Ashley nodded her head determinedly, and then she opened the car door and jumped out. Morgan and Alexis both let out small, surprised, squeals. Ashley rolled herself onto her stomach and then gave them a thumbs up, while cradling the spray paint in her other arm. Morgan let out a frustrated growl; Alexis just shook her head as they continued up the driveway. Ashley did an army crawl over to the garage; she then did sideways somersaults, all the while humming the Imperial March from Star Wars. She scrambled to her feet, and then she pressed her back against the garage wall. She shimmied along the wall then slipped through the door. She turned on the lights and immediately saw his Rabbit. She wouldn't mess with that, her only focus was on the motorcycle in the corner of the so-called garage. She grinned evilly as she stalked the poor motorcycle; she shook the spray paint and then began to work.

Alexis was already told by Morgan about her first encounter with Billy Black, but was not fully prepared for the old, hermit, to stare openly with his jaw slacked open at her boobs (which were a nice size of triple D) . He could barely squeak out where the spare bedroom was before Alexis ran to the room. Morgan snorted as she picked up their suitcases and followed her.

"Bedroom Ha! More like a closet."Morgan muttered. The girls got to work on unpacking and getting things sorted out. They were about 20 minutes in when they heard the front door open and a very, deep, husky, and sexy voice rang through the house. They were mystified for a second and then looked at each other in horror.

"If you need me I'll be in the garage." They heard Jacob's voice call out.

Ashley was laughing hysterically as she painted Jacob's motorcycle hot pink. Just as she put the finishing touches on it, she heard footsteps approaching the garage. Figuring it was Morgan or Alexis (since Billy couldn't even get to the garage and Morgan reassured her Jake was gone.) she called out to them.

"Hahaha! Guys come check out my master-piece! See I told you Jacob was gay! That's why the so-called 'pack' is so close! MWHAHAHA-!" But she stopped mid evil laugh as she stared up at the quivering Quileute. His dark, angered, eyes kept flickering from his now, hot, pink, bike, to the spray can in her hands, then to her face. Ashley smiled nervously as she stood up, slowly backing away as he stalked her.

"Now, now no need to get all violent wolf-boy." She suggested, her words made Jacob snarl as he continued stalking her to the doorway.

"You are not angry about the bike" Ashley waved her hand like Obi-Wan Kenobi, "I was never here." He looked at her weird while still managing to look furious as she tried her Jedi mind trick.

"It is not Bella you seek; who you seek is the hunky, smokin' Edward." Jacob went to lunge for her, but she slipped out the door and ran onto the porch. Jacob followed, but stopped as she raised her hands and yelled.

"This is the day that you almost caught, Captain Jack Sparrow! HAHAHA!" She ran into the house laughing like a manic. Jacob could only stare blankly at the porch, he then had a sudden urge to sweep Edward off his feet and kiss his yummy mouth. So that's what he did.


	3. The Vampire Diaries, Fiber One, & Sims

**So sorry! I had a wee bit of writers block, ugh hate that. BUT! Here is chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any characters or ideas by Stephenie Meyer, now if you excuse me I will go weep in a corner and rock myself back and forth…**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been two days since the motorcycle incident, Jacob had finally come home with bruises all over him, a black eye, and a chunk of his bottom lip gone. Guess Edward's feelings weren't mutual with Jacob's. Ashley openly laughed at him from the couch.

"Awe poor Jakey Wakey has a boo-boo Awe" Ashley patronized him, Jacob just stood there scowling at her. He was not going to give in to the little nuisance's tricks. Morgan was on the other couch reading a _Teen Bop_, uh more like ripping all the pictures of Justin Beaver, Selena Gomez, and Big Time Rush, into little pieces laughing like a manic. Alexis was too busy focusing her attention on the Vampire Diaries for her to notice Jacob in his sexy glory.

"What the hell are you doing in my house!" Jacob spit out through his teeth, his hands were balled into fists and his arms shook. Ashley sat up on the couch and crossed her legs as she grinned at him.

"My friend over there-"She pointed to Morgan, who was shaking her head like a dog with a picture of Justin Bieber in her mouth, "-already told you, your Daddy-O is letting us stay here, and we can stay as long as we want as long as Alexis keeps her cleavage out." Alexis' head whipped up then she looked down at her The Devil Wears Prada band t-shirt and shrugged returning her attention back to the TV.

Jacob growled a few profanities as he stalked to his room, slamming the door with enough force that the whole house shook. Ashley giggled as she folded her hands behind her head and leaned into the couch, refocusing her attention on the TV screen once again.

"Stefan! What the Hale is wrong with you! You love Elena, not slutty Rebecca!" She exclaimed, while Alexis was screeching incoherently pointing violently at the TV screen, just as angry.

"BLASPHEMY! BLASPHEMY!"

Morgan shook her head

"Weirdos" and then she ripped off Justin's head with her teeth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things had been uneventful since then. Ashley wanted that soon to change, but Alexis was too scared to follow through with her act of annoyance.

"No! I don't want to do it! Why did you give me this one?" Alexis exclaimed frustrated. She so did not want to do this prank; she didn't even want any part of this nonsense in the first place!

"I gave you this prank because 1. It does not take much effort, since we both know that you don't like doing anything challenging." Alexis scowled as Morgan stifled a snicker from her place on the bed using the laptop, Ashley smirked.

"And 2. You need to get out of your little bubble-" she waved her hands around Alexis "-Just do it and get it over with!" Alexis bit her lip as she looked at Ashley's annoyed face.

"What is the prank anyway?" Morgan asked perplexed as she looked up from playing The Sim's Social. Alexis gulped as Ashley pulled out her checklist, scanning the list longer than she needed, for dramatic effect of course.

_"3. Lick your finger and touch his chest making a sizzling sound."_She answered; Alexis put her head in her hands as Morgan looked at them both, and then busted out laughing. She fell onto her side still on the bed holding her stomach. Alexis was not amused as she stood up and shoved Morgan off the bed, pissed.

Morgan still chortled; face down on the nasty, carpet pounding her fist on the floor while kicking her legs. The other two girls watched her with weird looks on their faces. Morgan finally lifted her head off the carpet; they stared at each other for a split second.

"So anyway-" Ashley started up again still staring at Morgan "-Alexis!" She whipped her head around as Ashley caught her trying to crawl out the door.

"Jacob is in the garage, shirtless I may add, now is your chance!" She exclaimed, Alexis scrambled to her feet,

"Well what if I don't want to do it?" She challenged while raising one of her eyebrows.

"Then I. Kill. YOU!" Ashley exclaimed holding out the last word until her face was red, her arms shook as she scrunched her face up. After a full minute of this she finally stopped, taking big, heaving breathes, while staring down Alexis with a murderous look on her face.

"Fine!" Alexis relented throwing her hands up in defeat, "I'll do it" she bit her lip as she stalked out the door, Ashley smiling triumphantly at her retreating back, Morgan sucked in a sharp breath, making Ashley snap her head towards her.

"What's wrong?" She asked, Morgan's face became horrified as she shook; she groaned then jumped off the bed running out of the room.

"Darn you stupid 'Fiber One' bars and your deliciousness!" she said as she dashed into the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alexis walked slowly towards the garage, her heart pounding as her boots crunched against the dirt. You see Alexis is very shy when it comes to guys, especially guys she idolizes and can barely speak to. She may be crazy but not THIS kind of crazy. She finally made it to the entrance, she peeked her head in to double check her was in there, but quickly pulled her head out when he was looking at the doorway with an annoyed look on his face.

_'Blast his super, werewolf, hearing.' _Alexis thought as she peeked back into the garage, he again was looking straight at her so she quickly retreated. She looked again but this time Jacob was _right_ at the entrance of the garage. She gasped as she looked up into his annoyed and angry face, they stared at each other for a couple minutes, Jacob growled furiously, she winced.

"Why the hell are you and your friends in MY house-" he sneered as he stepped closer to her, she had to lean back to actually see his face "- in MY garage, messing with my stuff, and torturing me!" He yelled, Alexis shuddered as she looked up at him. Her eyes flickered to his chest and noticed his lack of shirt, she grimaced.

_"Now or never" _she thought

She quickly licked her pointer and middle fingers and touched them to his chest and barely waited for the sizzle sound before she booked it. Jacob roared as he wiped his chest furiously, but before he could go after her she was already in the Ferrari backing out of the driveway, hitting their mail-box and speeding away. Jacob kicked the garage wall, leaving a dent twice the size of his foot, he grabbed furiously at his hair in anger, wondering why the hell he was being punished by these…these…_things._

_"Damn you!" _he thought angrily as he stormed away into forest, to take out all his anger.

Meanwhile, Ashley and Morgan were watching from the window peeing their pants. They were leaning back to back against each other on the floor laughing hysterically.

"She actually did it!" Morgan managed to get in-between her squeals,

"Did you see her face! Her face!" Ashley wailed happily as she laid on the floor rolling around holding her stomach. As the girls continued laughing a deep chuckle joined in. Both girls' laughs slowly morphed into nervous, quiet giggles, as they turned slowly around to find Billy in his wheelchair chuckling with a smirk on his face.

"So ladies, what do you say we continue our amusement in my bedroom?" He wiggled his eyebrows, curling his finger upward in a "commere" motion. Morgan and Ashley looked at each other slowly then screamed in unison, running out the door together and bolting down the street, desperately trying to catch up with Alexis.


End file.
